Domestic violence is an extremely widespread problem that has affected millions of people worldwide.
So what is domestic violence? The answer to this question goes way beyond physical violence.
Domestic violence represents various forms of abuse, subtle but very damaging: ranging from emotional manipulation and psychological controls.
By exploring what domestic violence is, you can recognize signs of abuse, support survivors, and help to prevent further violence.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another in an intimate relationship. 1
It may involve physical violence, emotional manipulation, psychological intimidation, economic control, and social isolation. What places domestic abuse in a class of its own is the fact that it escalates.
It worsens over time, slowly and thoroughly wearing down the victim’s self-esteem and independence. Identifying patterns like these allows a person to realize that they are in an abusive relationship and to seek help.
Listen without judgment. Reassure that one is not alone, share information on local resources—the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which they can reach by dialing 1-800-799-SAFE—and urge them to go for counseling or even to a lawyer. Always respect their decision, knowing things aren’t easy, yet still offer your support and understanding.
If you’re in immediate danger, call emergency services—911 or your local emergency number—for help right away. Then find someplace safe—a friend’s or family member’s house or a domestic violence shelter—right away, and call local resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE for immediate support. Follow your safety plan, keep your phone charged, and stay connected with trusted individuals who can help or support you.
Forms of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence does not come in one package. It manifests in many forms, each leaving its different and painful marks. 2
To understand what domestic violence is, you will find that it has many faces, let’s take a more in-depth look at what some of those look like.
Physical abuse is not about obvious acts, like hitting or slapping. It may also be in the form of pushing, shoving, grabbing, throwing things, choking, or using weapons. It can also mean holding back the victim, driving recklessly to frighten them, forcing them to take drugs or alcohol, and denying medical care or medication that is needed. Such actions, besides causing physical hurt, can cause emotional trauma and further solidify control and intimidation in the relationship.3
Emotional abuse refers to the systematic destruction of self-esteem and perception of reality through constant criticism, belittling, name-calling, and gaslighting. Threats, using children to manipulate, and guilty shaming are also typical. The impact emotional abuse has is deep, and can leave you doubting yourself and feeling worthlessness.
It includes any form of non-consensual sexual activity, including rape, forced sexual acts, and belittling a partner’s sexual performance. Other forms include withholding affection as punishment, forcing the victim to watch pornography, and reproductive coercion—things like tampering with birth control. Remember, in a healthy relationship, all sexual activities will always involve consent, and sexual abuse is a deep violation of the trust involved; it can also have devastating effects on a person’s psychology.4
How does one identify financial abuse in domestic violence? It can be characterized by taking control of all finances, providing a very little allowance, preventing the victim from working, sabotaging job opportunities, running up debts in your name, stealing money, or, identity theft. Applying shared resources without consent, thereby making it impossible to leave the relationship. Identification of this form of abuse is important in understanding the scope of domestic violence and finding ways to regain financial independence.
Understanding the Scope: Statistics on Domestic Violence
How does one show that the human impact of domestic violence is supported by statistics?
- Worldwide, nearly 1 in 3 women have faced physical or sexual violence
- Over 10 million adults annually are affected.
- Nearly 20 people every minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the U.S. alone.
- Statistics have it that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner violence.
- Domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 19,159 calls a day across the nation.
These numbers truly reveal how real domestic violence is and how much awareness, support, and change it needs.
Recognizing Domestic Violence
Domestic abuse often slowly creeps into a relationship before escalating into more obvious and dangerous forms.
How does domestic violence in the beginning stages look like? Maybe it’s a pattern of controlling behavior, excessive jealousy, or verbal put-downs that make the victim start to lose their sense of self-worth.
Signs and Symptoms of Domestic Abuse
The signs of domestic violence are an essential step toward understanding what domestic violence is and how it manifests in people’s lives. The ability to recognize the signs can be life-changing, if not life-saving.
Recognizing the physical signs of domestic abuse is key. Watch for unexplained bruises, cuts, or injuries. The person may often call in sick to work or skip social events and cannot give a clear reason for the absence. Notice the person’s clothing; they may be covering themselves up with long sleeves and high necks during warmer weather to conceal bruises.
The symptoms of emotional abuse include sudden changes in self-esteem, growth in self-criticism, anxiety, and symptoms of depression, which may manifest as persistent sadness or withdrawal from once pleasurable activities. Symptoms also include a person appearing overly submissive or fearful of making mistakes, and constantly seeking their partner’s approval, which would indicate manipulation or control by the abuser.
Victims may work too hard to please their partner and almost change everything about their behavior so as not to upset their mate. Some signs include losing financial control, experiencing frequent monitoring by calling or texting, and a great loss of autonomy. Someone once independent may become increasingly dependent on their abuser for daily decisions and activities, reflecting the abuser’s control and the victim’s loss of self.
Domestic abuse victims are often led to develop a language of fear, minimization, and self-blame. They may express fear when talking about the partner, minimize the conflicts, or self-blame with statements like, “I probably deserved it.” It may lead to the victims defending or excusing the abuser’s behavior and being strung along over regular activities—clear indications of the control an abuser exerts on the victim.
Isolation is a sly tool abusers use while, bit by bit, cutting off the social networks of their victims so that by the time the victim finally realizes the need to get out of the abusive relationship, they have no one to turn to but the abuser. What is domestic violence’s impact on social connections? Victims will withdraw from family and friends; they stop attending social functions and end up losing interest in things they used to like doing. Understanding how abusers monitor communications, control social media, or forbid contact with others, so they feel completely alone.
Impact of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence does not spare any sphere of life; its effects are felt in victims and their families just like a stone thrown in stagnant water. So, what does domestic violence do to the very fabric of families and personal lives?
The physical health and quality of life of victims may plummet. This many times requires not only medical care but also support groups to repair the intertwining of emotional and psychological effects.
These are mental bruises, lasting a long time, impacting the ability to build healthy relationships even after one has left a harmful situation. Domestic violence robs its victims of their self-esteem and their ability to trust others. In an attempt to numb the pain, some people may even turn to drugs or alcohol, looking to escape.
The instability of a person’s mental state potentially leads to deep depression and even suicidal thoughts. These psychological effects can seriously impair functioning on a day-to-day basis, making mental health support necessary.
Impact on Families
The effects of domestic violence ripple outward, touching every member and often spanning generations. Children growing up in abusive homes bear a heavy burden, but what does domestic violence teach these young minds?
It teaches them how to be aggressive and instills deep-seated anxiety. These children may have difficulties in forming healthy relationships, go through academic challenges, or face social isolation. 4
Extended family members aren’t immune either. Other family members may feel powerless and angry, pulled in two different directions by wanting to help and fearing the result of that help.
The chances of the abuse continuing are high because children who see the violence likely grow up into either the victims of abuse or the abusers themselves.
Understanding this far-reaching impact is essential to grasping what domestic violence truly is: not just an individual trauma but a force that can reshape entire family trees, potentially for generations to come.5
Quick Tip
How You Can Help Someone Experiencing Domestic Violence
Be cautious if you think someone is being abused. Offer your support gently, without pressure and judgment. Provide them space, letting them know you are a person who will listen and help.
Seeking Help for Domestic Violence
Silence and isolation are domestic violence’s greatest allies. Breaking free starts with reaching out for help.
If you are a victim of abuse or think someone close to you may be, it is crucial to act now. Call the 24-hour confidential support and guidance National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) where they will be able to connect with you right where you are with local resources.
- Safe housing, emotional support, and practical assistance.
- Face-to-face or online counseling may provide an important base for healing.
- Support groups and community
- Legal aid exists to help guide a person through protection orders and court systems.
Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of courage. Never feel alone—make that first brave step to safety and take your life back today.
Key Takeaways
- Domestic violence includes physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial abuse.
- Recognizing the signs of domestic violence is crucial for early intervention.
- The impact of domestic violence can be severe and long-lasting.
- There are numerous resources available for victims to seek help.
- Friends and family play a vital role in supporting victims of domestic violence.