November 11, 2024

8 Essential Tips for Dealing with Toxic People Around You

Discover 8 practical tips for dealing with toxic people that help you set boundaries, protect your emotional well-being, and maintain your mental health.

Frame 1077241738Clinically Reviewed by Nate Bush,LCSW

8 Tips for Dealing with Toxic People

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Table of Contents

Contributors & Editors

Michelle Peterson

Recovery Writer & Editor

Updates

Last Update on November 25, 2024

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Dealing with toxic people is one of the most painful obstacles in the recovery process.

You can’t start a journey to find your purpose in life if you hold onto past negative influences.

However, managing toxic relationships is difficult, even when you know they harm your mental health and well-being.

Thankfully, setting boundaries in unhealthy relationships is possible with the right strategies.

In this article, we’ll highlight 8 tips for dealing with toxic people that help you stay emotionally grounded and at peace.

8 Proven Tips for Dealing with Toxic People

Similar to removing toxins from your body for a healthy recovery, avoiding toxic relationships is essential to maintaining positive mental health.

Granted, it’s not easy, but it’s crucial to staying on track with your healing goals.

Implementing simple strategies and seeking ongoing support can make setting boundaries with toxic people more manageable.

Below are 8 proven tips for dealing with toxic people that we’ve seen the most success with.

1. Identify Toxic Behaviors

Overcoming toxic emotional relationships is tricky without knowing what to look for.

Recognizing what makes a behavior toxic is the first step to effectively dealing with unhealthy relationships.

Exposure to toxic traits can make maintaining resilience and confidence during recovery challenging.

Here are a few common behaviors to avoid:

  • Manipulation manifests as blame, guilt, shame, passive-aggressive behaviors (silent treatment), victim mentality, or blaming the victim.
  • Excessive Negativity occurs when people fail to see a positive spin on anything, including work, friendships, relationships, or hobbies.
  • Emotional Abuse includes non-physical behaviors aimed at control, such as fear, isolation, threats, constant monitoring, insults, jealousy, humiliation, intimidation, and manipulation1.

2. Practice Emotional Detachment

Emotional attachment is one reason we hold onto unhealthy relationships longer than we should.

However, toxic behaviors can cause elevated levels of stress, which are proven to result in long-term adverse effects.

Studies on stress effects and nerve structure found that prolonged stress can lead to severe and even permanent damage to the brain.2

During recovery, you’re already healing from emotional trauma.

Avoiding becoming emotionally tangled when dealing with toxic people is especially important.

Emotional detachment includes holding others accountable and not feeling responsible for their emotions.

It also means staying calm, ignoring negative arguments, and refusing to engage in toxic conversations.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries with people who display toxic behaviors gives you a significant advantage during recovery.

First, you are less likely to abandon your strategies and goals for the sake of another.

Second, setting boundaries empowers you to take accountability for yourself and provides a sense of confidence when facing future obstacles.

To start, here’s some tips for communicating boundaries:

  • Be deliberate and proactive in not engaging in toxic behaviors.
  • Enforce your boundaries and define them clearly.
  • Communicate consequences for crossing boundaries.
  • Prepare for your boundaries to be tested.
  • Stay consistent and firm in holding your boundaries.
  • Practice self-care to stay mentally strong. 

4. Limit Contact or Distance Yourself

Even if you can communicate and set clear boundaries when dealing with toxic people, they may refuse to respect them.

This is part of the process and no altogether uncommon.

Rebuilding trust and relationships in recovery is not always possible.

In these cases, it’s beneficial in your journey to limit contact with toxic people or distance yourself. 

The act of limiting contact/distancing may include: 

  • Blocking a cell phone number
  • Blocking or unfollowing social media accounts
  • Refraining from sending emails
  • Avoiding specific places or being pulled into a crisis
  • Choosing to spend time with more positive people
  • NOT checking for unanswered contact months later

Quick Tip: Avoid Engaging in Arguments

When dealing with toxic people, arguments often escalate negativity and stress. Instead of getting pulled into a conflict, remain calm and set boundaries by walking away or changing the subject. Engaging in arguments only drains your emotional energy—protect your peace by avoiding unnecessary confrontations.

5. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Overcoming toxic relationships can be heartbreaking, especially with friends and family.

Creating a solid support system can help buffer the impact of leaving toxic relationships, easing you through this transition.

Your support system should consist of multiple people who see you for who you are and cheer you on.

Positive support will offer verbal praise, acknowledge your perspective and achievements, use uplifting language, and listen to your struggles. 

If you need some help building a support system, consider seeking additional help through mental health treatment programs.

Residential mental health treatment offers a structured environment with professional support, helping individuals work through mental health challenges, establish boundaries, and build healthy relationships.

These programs are designed to guide you toward emotional resilience and personal growth in a safe, supportive setting.

6. Practice Self-Care and Emotional Healing

Dealing with toxic people is stressful, but so is leaving them.

With this process, you can experience mental, physical, and emotional fatigue unlike ever before.

Toxic relationships hit you at your core. 

Self-care is essential during emotional healing to counteract negative feelings.

Make time for yourself and give yourself some grace while healing; there’s no wrong way to do it. 

Self-care techniques can vary from yoga, meditation, reiki, and other spiritually guided routines to reading a new book, watching your favorite movie, taking a bath, or cooking a warm meal.

Whatever healthy activity that recenters your body is self-care.

7. Seek Professional Support if Needed

Dealing with toxic people is not always straightforward.

Sometimes, toxic people stand in the way of placing boundaries and limitations.

Other times, your investment in them may seem too deep. 

If you feel that breaking free from unhealthy relationships is impacting your mental health, try seeking additional professional support.

This could mean joining a support group, trying individual cognitive behavioral therapy, or participating in other mental health programs. 

Virtual options, such as a Virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), can offer flexible and confidential support, including individual counseling, wellness coaching, workshops, and group therapy, all designed to foster healing and resilience.

8. Let Go of Guilt and Prioritize Yourself

It’s common to feel guilt, shame, and regret when coming out of toxic relationships.

The most important step to dealing with toxic people is realizing that it’s not your fault. 

The truth is that most toxic people seem healthy in the beginning.

These relationships start as fulfilling and exciting.

It’s only after we’ve been hurt and can identify toxic traits that we see the red flags. 

Be patient without yourself, and be proud of your recovery journey.

Toxic people will always be around.

Prioritizing yourself and healing will make you more equipped to manage them effectively.

The Impact of Toxic People on Mental Health

During recovery, you need all the strength and support you can get.

This life-changing transition is one of the most important you will ever go through.

It’s vital to focus on your mental well-being; toxic individuals will only draw away from that. 

Unhealthy relationships can have severe impacts on your mental health and hinder progress in your healing journey.

A few of the consequences include: 

  • Eroding self-esteem
  • Elevating stress levels
  • Feelings of depletion
  • Increasing anxiety and depression
  • Confusion or self-doubt

All of these consequences limit your ability to achieve your goals for sobriety, healing, or a healthy lifestyle.

Removing toxicity of this nature can combat these effects and keep your mental health on a more stable and positive path.

How to Handle Toxic Family Members

Dealing with toxic family members can be particularly challenging due to the close, often unavoidable nature of these relationships.

Unlike other toxic relationships, family ties can make it harder to set boundaries without feeling guilt or pressure.

However, protecting your mental health is essential.

Here are some strategies for managing toxic family dynamics while prioritizing your well-being:

  • Set Clear Boundaries: Decide what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate, and communicate these boundaries respectfully but firmly.
  • Limit Contact: When possible, reduce the amount of time spent with toxic family members to protect your mental space.
  • Stay Calm: Reacting emotionally can escalate situations. Practice staying composed to avoid feeding into negative patterns.
  • Seek Support: Lean on friends, support groups, or therapists who can offer advice and provide emotional backup.
  • Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your mental health and engage in activities that bring you peace and fulfillment.

With a balanced approach, it’s possible to manage family dynamics while staying true to your needs and boundaries.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I set boundaries with toxic people?

Setting boundaries involves being clear about your limits and communicating them assertively. Let the toxic person know what behavior is unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed. Consistently enforcing these limits helps protect your mental health and reduce the impact of their toxic behavior.

Why is emotional detachment important when dealing with toxic people?

Emotional detachment is crucial because it helps you avoid being emotionally manipulated or affected by the toxic person’s negativity. By not engaging on an emotional level, you preserve your peace and prevent yourself from becoming reactive, allowing you to handle situations more calmly and effectively.

If your boundaries are constantly disrespected, it may be necessary to limit contact or distance yourself from the toxic person. Consistently enforce consequences and consider reducing interaction to protect your mental health. If the situation continues to affect you, seeking professional support may also be helpful.

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Key Takeaways

Let Go of Toxic People and Prioritize Your Mental Health

Managing toxic relationships with the right strategies can protect your mental and emotional health long-term.

Setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and connecting with personal and professional support are essential.

There is nothing wrong with prioritizing your well-being; you’re worth it.

Need some more help getting started?

Cornerstone Healing Center offers a range of mental health treatment options to meet you where you are in your journey to healing.

Our residential behavioral health program provides a safe, structured environment where individuals receive professional support as they navigate mental health challenges, establish healthy boundaries, and build resilient relationships.

Our Virtual IOP offers the same level of professional guidance and support as our residential program but in a convenient online form for those seeking flexibility.

No matter where you are, we are here to support you on your path to recovery and growth.

Reach out to connect with us and see how we can help!

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Author & Reviewers

lionel estrada lisac clinical director
CLINICAL DIRECTOR & REVIEWER

Lionel is the Clinical Director of Cornerstone’s Scottsdale treatment facilities. He has had over 4 years at Cornerstone. He is personally in recovery and passionate about helping others overcome substance abuse and mental health challenges; he is trained as an EMDR, adopting a trauma-informed approach to treat the underlying issues.

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