Understanding the Family Roles in Addiction
Addiction's Overall Impact on the Family
Addiction inflicts incalculable damage on families, regardless of which family member has the problem. Financial hardship, strained relationships, and increased risk of abuse are the most common consequences. However, not all families experience the same effects; every family has a different dynamic. It’s undeniable that all family members suffer because of substance abuse, but it’s important to know that each family member responds differently.
Some members may avoid talking to the person with addiction because they don’t want to get involved in the chaos that comes with substance abuse. Others may want to confront the person and convince them to get professional help, while some may pretend everything is normal, thinking it’s best to do nothing. How different family members respond depends on several factors:
- Which family member has a substance abuse problem
- Whether or not there are young children in the family
- How close a family member is to the person with the addiction
- Social background, financial status, ethnicity, and religious beliefs
For example, a religious family may approach addiction differently than a non-religious family. Wealthy families are less likely to experience financial hardship because of addiction than families that are not well-off. Parents often tend to pay for the legal expenses of their children if they get into trouble because of substance abuse. Spouses often experience different forms of abuse if their partner has an addiction problem. If the person with addiction is the sole breadwinner, it can be extremely devastating for the entire family, and they’ll have to seek outside help.
There is also a chance that another family member turns to substance abuse to escape the chaos. Research shows that children who grow up with a family member who has an addiction problem are more likely to abuse substances later in life. A parent with addiction is incapable of taking care of their children, causing the children to write the parent off for months, years, or even decades. Even when the parent becomes sober and tries to reconnect, the children cannot shake off the feelings of betrayal and abandonment.
The person with addiction pushes all family members to their limits and refuses to take responsibility for their actions or acknowledge the damage they have inflicted, resulting in irredeemable marital breakdowns and broken families.
Family Roles in Addiction
The Addict
The Caretaker
The Hero
The hero usually has a Type A personality characterized by self-control, competitiveness, hard work, and perfectionism. They try to hold the family together through their achievements, seeking to give the family hope that everything will be okay. The hero has a driving need to do everything right, which puts a lot of pressure on them, causing anxiety and susceptibility to anxiety disorders later in life. The eldest child usually takes on this role, but it can be any child within the family as they feel like they have it all under control.
The Scapegoat
The Mascot
The Lost Child
The lost child of the addicted family system withdraws from family dysfunction to avoid feeling overwhelmed. They tend to spend time with people outside of the family unit to avoid all family conflicts, engaging in solitary activities to escape tension caused by addiction in the family. The youngest or the middle child usually embodies this role. They are self-effacing and withdrawn and are seldom seen as the stressor in the family. The lost child will often defer making decisions and have difficulty developing intimate relationships.
Quick Tip
Practice Self-Care
How Parental Substance Abuse Affects the Family System
Can family therapy help even if the person with addiction refuses to participate?
How can I tell if I'm enabling my loved one's addiction?
What should I do if my family members resist seeking professional help?
Steps to Break the Cycle of the Destructive Family Roles in Addiction
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Step 1: Recognize Your Role
Step 2: Recognize How The Role Has Affected You
Step 3: Reach Out for Help
Step 4: Bring Awareness to Your Family
Addiction has devastating effects on all members of the family. Therefore, you must make them aware of how they can seek professional help. Many options are available for families seeking professional help, including:
- Supportive family therapy
- Psychodynamic therapy
- Narrative therapy
- Trans-generational therapy
All types of family therapy aim to nurture positive change and development within families affected by addiction.
Step 5: Create Boundaries
Step 6: Begin the Process of Inner Healing
Step 7: Let Go of What You Can't Control
The Biggest Mistake Made in The Process of Healing From the Addicted Family System
Why the Whole Family Needs to Get Help
Substance use disorders affect all family members to some extent, regardless of their role in dealing with their loved one’s addiction. If a family member does not seek professional help, they may have to live with the effects of addiction forever. Going to a family therapist will help you address those uncomfortable emotions that you have kept bottled up for so long.
With family therapy, they can learn to develop healthy boundaries, effectively communicate their feelings to each other, define their role within the family, and address dysfunctional interactions. Family therapy aims to improve family dynamics by addressing conflicts and fostering trust.
Without professional help, family members may resort to other destructive behaviors, like bottling up emotions, self-medicating, growing distant, and self-harming. All family members need professional help to reconnect with each other, bring clarity to their relationships, and remove all marks of addiction from their lives.
Moving Forward: Healing the Family from Addiction
Addiction is a complex issue that affects not only the individual struggling with substance abuse but also their entire family system. By understanding the various roles family members often adopt in response to addiction, such as the enabler, hero, scapegoat, mascot, or lost child, we can begin to recognize the far-reaching impact of this disease. It’s crucial to acknowledge that parental substance abuse can perpetuate a cycle of intergenerational trauma and addiction, increasing the risk of mental health issues in children.
Breaking free from the destructive patterns of addiction requires a concerted effort from all family members. Seeking professional help, such as family therapy or support groups, is essential in facilitating the healing process. By recognizing the roles each family member has taken on and the impact these roles have had on their well-being, families can begin to work towards healthier dynamics and improved communication.
Moreover, prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and focusing on what you can control are vital steps in the healing journey. Family members must remember to take care of their own physical, mental, and emotional health to effectively support their loved ones and break free from the cycle of addiction.
As families embark on this path toward recovery, it’s essential to approach the process with patience, compassion, and understanding. Healing takes time, and setbacks may occur. Still, with a commitment to growth and a willingness to seek help, families can overcome the challenges posed by addiction and build a stronger, more resilient family system.
Key Takeaways
- Key Takeaways
- Addiction affects the entire family, leading to the adoption of various roles in an attempt to cope with the challenges posed by substance abuse.
- Parental substance abuse can perpetuate a cycle of intergenerational trauma and addiction, increasing the risk of mental health issues in children.
- Recognizing family roles and their impact, as well as seeking professional help, is crucial for breaking the cycle of addiction and healing the family system.
- Prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and focusing on what you can control are essential steps in the healing process for family members affected by addiction.
